Your Job Your Private Life Your Everything
by HeavenlyKitten
Summary: The CIA loses vital information and 'M' request the help of her 00 agent to keep one of their agents safe even from the CIA, but he can't bed her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_ So, as I was writing stories for my other fandoms I realized I have yet to write a story for this one. I'm a huge Bond fan. I love the older Bonds as well as the new ones. Anyhow let me know what you think._

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing or no one in the James Bond movie/books.**_

**Your Job,Your Private Life, Your Everything **

****Moscow, Russia****

Snow fell like a cold thick blanket. It covered everything and everyone unlucky enough to be out in it. An average height burnett was one of those unlucky beings. She was in a thick black wool coat with a matching fur lined hat. Her black boots reached her knees and still she was freezing. She wished to be any place, but here. It was so cold she could see her breath coming out of her mouth like smoke. She took in her cold dark strange surroundings and lost count at how many times she'd done this before.

Kendra Monroe was so use to doing this it was like second nature to her. She pushed a lock of hair back behind her ear and thought that if she had a penny for every time she lied, cheated, or stole because of her job she'd be richer than Bill Gates. Just with a more dangerous and deadly job. She almost laughed at the understatement. Sometimes she thought it would be nice to have a 'normal' life, but she wouldn't know what to do with it if she did. She'd been in this life far too long to just go for a regular life. She sighed as she checked her watch. 'Bloody hell the bastard wasn't showing up'.

As she swore softly no longer willing nor able to stand in the freezing cold she made her way back to her hotel. Tonight was a waste of time and warmth. The busy streets seemed to be more crowded. She then remembered reading something about a ballet performance tonight. She was disappointed that she had to miss it because of her job. She loved the ballet thanks to her mother who encouraged her to explore her cultural side. Another sigh as she felt the strain of distance she had to put between herself and those she loved that had nothing to do with her job. No, she needed the space she just never expected it to be so much.

She heard the sound of screeching tires as someone hit their breaks. Out of instinct she flinched. She let out a heavy breath as she shook her head. She never flinched before. _Had this job finally become too much for her? _She wondered as she turned a corner heading toward her her hotel. She could see it so clearly. As she was about to cross the street a car pulled up in front of her and the passenger side door was opened.

"Don't ask questions just get in now!" a man said to her before she could even think of a reason why she shouldn't a bullet hit the side of the door where she stood.

"Mr. Bond I presume." she said as she got into the car and slammed the door shut. Funny how she sounded more calmer than she felt.

"Eric said he'd meet us at the airport." James said to her as he pressed the gas petal to the floor nearly.

"How do I know you're not going to kill me?" she tossed at him as she eyed him suspiciously

"If I wanted you dead you'd be dead by now." he said as he glanced over at her.

"Yeah I've heard that before." she stated as she twisted her lips as she considered the man sitting beside her driving like a maniac." Give me proof."

"Proof that I'm not going to kill you." he said as he raised a brow at her

"No, I can handle myself if you tried to kill me." she emphasized _tried_" I need proof that Eric sent you."

"Ah, he said you'd demand proof." he said as he handed her his cell phone." Go ahead call him. "

She eyed the phone curiously as she thought about it. Then she dialed Eric's number.

"Hey Eric." she paused as she looked over at James." Yes, you know me too well." she paused again as her eyes dropped from James' as she listened to Eric." No, I got it. Yes of course." she chuckled a little as her eyes went to James once again" Hardly. I'll see you soon." she hung up and handed the phone back to him.

As he took it his fingers gently touched hers and for the first time in a long time Kendra felt genuine attraction toward the man sitting next to her.

"Satisfied now?" he asked his eyes not leaving the road.

_Hardly_"I wouldn't be worth my salt if I didn't always double check." she said to him as she tried to think of anything, but the very attractive man sitting next to her.

"You have trust issues. Has anyone ever told you that?" he smiled as he spared her a glance

"Yes, they have." she said softly as she gave him a soft smile, but it didn't reach her eyes because she thought of the last guy who told her that. She dropped her eyes to her lap as she pretended to take some lint of her jacket.

James notice the change in her mood without even looking at her. He also noticed how her voice dropped just a hair. It must have been someone she cared about that crossed her mind. He'd been given her file so he knew all about her professionally. What he didn't know personally he was filled in by 'M'. Just before she made him vow not to try and get this girl into bed. He never made promises because he didn't know if he could keep them, but with 'M' it was different He made the promise that he was now beginning to regret.

"How long have you been working with Eric?" Kendra's voice broke through his thoughts.

"A very long time." he said to her as he turned into the airport parking lot.

"Are you going to tell me where we are going?" she questioned as they got out of the car.

"London." he said as he placed a hand on the small of her back guiding her inside.


	2. Code Word: Flood

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing in/on the bond movies or books.**_

**Chapter Two**

****Paris, France****

Nicholas Nevou considered him self a pretty well educated man when it came to women. He knew how to touch them to make them weak. He knew how to kiss them to take their breath away. On most occasions he would swear by his knowledge Until today that is. He made a miss calculated error one of which he would do again in a heart beat. He thought as he considered the sleeping woman lay in the rumpled satin navy blue sheets. Her creamy skin standing out against the sheets oh yes, she was one mistake he'd gladly do all over again.

Nivea Skylar slowly stretched like a well satisfied cat as she slowly opened her eyes. She smiled as her eyes met the incredible blue of her greatest conquest. She propped her self up on her elbows and considered the gorgeous man before her. Jet black hair that was clean cut. Amazing blue eyes that she swore could see straight into her soul at times. A very well defined body that she could never resist touching. She cocked her head to the side as she contemplated their relationship over the past five years. Up until last night they had never moved beyond being professional.

"No regrets." Nicholas said as he sat next to her and kissed her

"None what so ever." she smiled lazily as she enjoyed the feeling of his lips on hers.

"I just got orders to leave for Italy this morning." he said to her as their eyes met and held each other.

"I know. I've been called back to Washington to go over the security breech we had." she said softly

"The one where the list with the names of every agent, contact and all was on?" he questioned as he sighed. It was something every agent knew would some day happen, but they prayed like hell that it wouldn't.

"Yeah." she answered

"I'm on that list." Nicholas said with a sigh as heavy as steel

"So, am I" Nivea said to him as he leaned back and took her in his arms.

"Nothing is going to happen to you I swear it." he vowed as he kissed the top of her head

"I believe you." she said though she knew in the pit of her stomach that if this list was in enemy hands there was nothing he could do to save her.

This was what every agent secretly feared would happen. Once that list landed in the hands of terrorist every agent on there would either be taken out by the CIA or the terrorist who had the list. It was a dangerous job and they had both been apart of it for way too long. They both dressed in silence. Each one's mind on the dangers that lay ahead for them. Neither ready to admit that they were worried about the other. They knew the risks that went along with this job. It was their choice to take the job and now neither one could just walk away.

Five years of working together. Five years of fighting together. Five years of fixing each others wounds. Five years of secretly loving each other and yet it still didn't seem like they had any time. As they went to their separate cars a parting smile was all that could be seen as meaning anything more was between them.

****Washington DC****

"Nivea welcome back." her boss greeted her warmly as she made her way through the head quarters of the CIA.

"Thank you Gorge." she smiled at him as they walked toward his office

"How did Paris treat you?" he questioned softly

"As always it treated me very well." she beamed as she thought about her night with Nicholas. The things his hands did to her body would make her boss blush deeply if he knew.

"I'm glad because you're going back there to be in a safe house until further notice." he told her as he shuffled through some pages on his desk

"Is that where all agents on that list are going to be?" she questioned

"No, we're going to spread them out as far as we can." he said to her

"Shouldn't I go some place aside from Paris?" she asked wondering why he wanted to send her to a place she'd been just a few hours before.

"No, you'll be safer there because you know the city and who you can trust." he told her

"Okay, but what about Kendra Monroe and Eric Jennings?" she needed to know about Kendra

"For the moment they are safe, but you should know the list bares their name at the top and if it is not recovered in forty eight hours we will have no choice, but to take care of the security risk our self." Gorge stated seriously

"Are you saying that you have two agents still out in the field and if you don't get that list you'll eventually kill them off." she didn't have to ask she knew the answer already." Do they even know the danger?"

"You leave immediately." was all Gorge said as he shut the folder in front of him and stood up.

"I have my answer." Nivea said as she fought the urge to glare at him.

She had to get word to Kendra before it was too late. As she got into the car that was to take her back to Paris she took out her phone and sent a text. The text simply read: Flood. Kendra would know that it meant to go to the one place in their lives that no one but them knew about.


	3. Ties to London

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or thing in the Bond movies/books.**_

**Chapter Three**

****London, England****

"You've been quite since we came here." Eric said to Kendra as they walked into his two bedroom flat.

It was a very nice flat. A lager living room with hard wood floors. A white sofa set with dark cherry wood coffee table and end tables. A black shaggy rug lay underneath the coffee table. French doors opened to reveal a nice balcony that over looked the city below. She looked around from her place in the front door way and just took it all in. She nearly laughed as she saw the nice sized kitchen and dinning room. She looked over at Eric who walked into his kitchen to get a drink out of the fridge.

"You actually have edible food in there?" she questioned surprised

"Yeah, my friend comes over once a week to make sure I have something to come home to." he said as he handed her a beer.

"I thought this was only an American thing." she joked as she took the beer from him.

"No, it's not." he said to her as he stared at her" You didn't answer my question." she took a sip

"I didn't realize you had asked me a question." she said to him" I do have lots for you though."

"What would you like to know?" he questioned her curious to know what she wanted to ask him.

"How is it that you know James Bond and have a place in London while still an agent for the CIA?" she asked as she raised a brow at him expectantly

"Well, it's complicated, but I'll try to answer your questions." he said as they walked into the living room and sat down" I've know James for years we've worked on a few cases together and since we've been partners he's been in constant contact." he informed her without revealing too much" As for my place here don't you have an apartment in Paris?"

"That's mine and Nivea's place to just be us. I get it." she said as she let it go." Why has he been in constant contact since we became partners?"

"You would have to ask him that." he said to her as he went to answer his phone

"I will." she said as she stood up walking out onto his balcony. 

_God how long has it been? Ten years? No, fifteen years since I've stepped foot in this place. Far too since I've seen the people here._ She thought with a sigh. She felt rain fall down on her arm lightly then it poured. _ And that's why I left. _ She thought as she went back inside.

"Hey, James said his boss wants to meet with us first thing in the morning." Eric said to her

"Let me guess James works for..."she started, but Eric finished for her

"MI6." he concluded.

"So, why would British intelligence want to meet with two American agents?" she questioned as she cocked her head to the side.

"Why don't you tell me why you never told me about your aunt that lives here?" he questioned her gently

"You mean my aunt Barbara Mawdsley, you never asked about her until now." she said suspiciously

"I am now." he said wondering why she had left London all those years ago.

"I haven't seen her since I was ten years old." she lowered her eyes" My parents had this horrible fight and my mom took me to America." she stopped as she felt a swell of sadness in her chest."Look um, I don't like talking about my family because of our work you of all people should understand that."

"I do, but you can trust me." he said as her phone went off

"I know it's just complicated that's all. Sorry." she apologized as she looked down to see she had a text message from Nivea. She opened it up and saw the words: Flood "Is there any way we could meet with James's boss like now?"

"Why?" he asked as he raised a curious brow at her

"Uh, well, I think my job just got more complicated than usual." she said with a soft snort

"What did you get?" he asked as his phone went off he looked at her as he checked it. He had the same message." What does it mean?"

"That our asses on literally on the line." she told him with a heavy sigh

"Let me make a phone call." he said as he picked up his phone" Don't worry no one knows about this place."

"Hmm." she said as she walked through the place looking in each room and doing a complete search for anything that even smelled like a trap. She found nothing.

"He said she's agreed to meet with us now." he said to her as he handed her, her jacket

"I'm curious about what could've made her send that do you still have Felix's number on hand?" she asked as they walked out the door

They had made it to MI6 headquarters and Kendra had gotten a hold of Felix who told her that something dangerous was going down. He said he'd get back to her as soon as he found out his self. As they walked into the building the first person they see is Nicholas Nevou. The hairs on Kendra's neck stood on ends. Something was going down and it was bad for Nicholas to be here. He hated London. She met his eyes and held them for a long time. As she got closer she could feel the hint of excitement in the pit of her stomach.

"You got a message too I see." he said to her as their eyes met

"Yeah, but why are you here?" she asked suspiciously

"For the same reason as you I suppose." he said to her as he eyed her suspiciously

"Have you spoken to Felix?" she questioned still not trusting in coincidence

"Yeah he told me you were here." the lie came out of his mouth so easily and he knew she knew it was a lie

"Really?" she questioned as she grabbed Eric's gun so quickly and shoved Nicholas against a nearby wall that it even took Eric by surprise.

"What the hells' going on here?" M asked as she and James approached them James cautiously watching the woman before him pinning Nicholas to a wall with a gun.

"I never told Felix where I was so, I'll ask you again what are you doing here?" she held the gun against his head as she demanded her answers.

"Because I asked him here." M said as she met her niece's eyes.

Kendra let him up,but didn't hand Eric back his gun.

"We need to talk." Kendra said to M her voice firm

"Yes, we do." M said as she headed toward her office with Kendra in tow

"Alone." Kendra nearly spat out.

"Of course." M said as she looked at the three men

"We'll wait." James said as he nodded he hadn't known Kendra long, but he knew 'M' and there was no way he wanted to get in the middle of their argument.

M and Kendra walked into the office.

"I know what ever I am going to say to you, you will do the complete opposite so, " M started as Kendra sat down

"Aunt Barbra I'm not going to fight you I know you want to protect me, but do not tell me not to do my job." Kendra said to her aunt

"No one, but your partner and Bond know who you really are to me and to keep you safe we have to keep it that way." M said to her niece

"Right I get that." she said softly" Why does my partner seem to know your agent so well and for that matter how does Nicholas Nevou play into all of this?" she leaned back in her seat and eyed her aunt

"As much as I want you to walk away from this job, I know you will not." she said with a sigh" As for Eric's involvement with my agent you'll have to trust him on that one."

"I trust him with my life, but apparently that was a serious miscalculation on my part.." Kendra said softly feeling more betrayed by Eric's not trusting her than anything.

"From what we have gathered there has been a leak of vital information from your agency." M informed her

"And this is on your desk because?" she questioned

"Nivea Skylar sent my agent some encrypted information." she told her as Kendra raised a brow

"Nivea has been my best friend since I lived here." she said to her

"Yes, I know. I remember her." she said as she thought about her next words." They have orders to kill you and Eric both and they will."

"Why is Nicholas here?" she questioned realizing her aunt hadn't told her why he was here.

"Because he's Nivea's husband and he's our agent." is Kendra was shocked or surprised 'M' couldn't read it in her expression. She'd give everything for her niece to be safe, but she knew this life style better than anyone, once you were in ,you were in until it was done with you.


	4. A Safe Place

**A/N:**_Thanks for the reviews I wasn't sure about this because the concept has been done so many times before, but after watching CR it was nagging at me to write it down and so I did. Now unlike most of my other stories I've did research on the places I wrote about. It took me a long time to get the information then write it in an interesting way. Anyhow thanks again hope you like this one as well._

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or thing in James Bond Movies/Books**_

**Chapter Four**

Kendra sat in M's office barely listening to her explain to each man in the room that their mission was not a rescue mission. She considered each person in the room. How could she had been so blind? Bond she didn't know well enough. Nicholas she had only met her first week on the job, but still she didn't know him. Eric on the other hand she thought she knew better than anyone. She had trusted him with her life many of times. That had obviously been a mistake one she wouldn't soon repeat.

As she sat there and stared at each man that had been thrown into her life she brought her thoughts to her aunt. She understood her reasons for her part in the deception. After all family would do anything for each other. At least her parent were somewhere far away. Her dad she hadn't spoken to in almost two years. Her mom she had spoken to last month, but she was now on some cruise or something. She often wondered if maybe they had the same job as she did, but she knew her mom to well. Then again she thought she knew a lot of people well enough.

Her mind was brought back to Bond. She wondered what his part in all of this was. Was it just a coincidence that they met? Was he actually only meeting her because he already knew who she was? Had everything been a lie? As she thought about this he turned and their eyes met. For a moment she felt like a girl who had a crush on the most dangerous man in the world. He was the first to break the gaze as he turned his attention back to what M was saying.

She swallowed against the lump in her throat. _Why oh why did he have to be so hot?_ There should be a rule that spy's no matter who they worked for had to all be ugly. Then again there was a reason why they were good looking. She was sure that Mr. Bond used his good looks to get his way a lot. She suddenly wondered how many women had actually fallen for him? As the thought came to mind she mentally slapped herself for the thought. She then realized that there was four pairs of eyes on her and she had no idea what had just been said.

"Kendra did you hear what I asked you?" M questioned as she creased her brows together as she regarded Kendra

"Uh, no I did not." she answered honestly as she leaned back in her with her hands folded under her chin.

"I asked if you had any way of getting in contact with Nivea that no one else knew about?" M repeated her questioned as she regarded her niece carefully

"We have a place that only we know under completely different names. " she answered calmly

"Where is it?" Nicholas asked knowing the situation was deadly, but he'd die before he let anything happen to Nievea. She was his world.

"If I told you then it wouldn't be a place that only we knew about." Kendra answered as she pretended to focus on her nails.

James looked over at her and raised a brow. Any other time it might be amusing today was not the day nor was it the time.

"Kendra we have a job to do and if you do not cooperate with us many lives will be lost including yours and Nivea." James stated nonchalantly

Kendra considered her words carefully as she still did not trust anyone in the room.

"Look, I get that you're pissed. I lied to you. Eric lied. We get that you don't trust us hell in our line of work it would be stupid if you did trust us, but we are talking about saving your life, Nivea's life and our own here. If not for us at least do it for Nivea." Nicholas's voice pleaded with her reasonable side. The side that loved Nivea almost as much as he did.

"I have a number I can call and _if_ she's there I'll take you to her only to make sure she's safe before I hunt down the son of a bitch who is responsible for this." she said to them firmly

"You can use one of our secure phones." M offered, but Kendra shook her head

"Hell no I'm not an idiot. I've got my own phone one I will be using and not long enough for you to trace the call either." Kendra stated as she eyed everyone in the room. Eric she knew better then any of the others. Barbra was her aunt and there was nothing stronger than blood. Bond she didn't know. Nicholas she knew very little, but he obviously cared enough about Nivea to risk everything for her. Her issues with them could be put aside for now.

"Alright you go find out what you can and I'll get transportation for you four." M said as she ended the briefing and went to her office.

Kendra walked out to place her call.

James looked at the two men in the room with him before he casually got up.

"She's a handful." he said regarding Kendra

"I know try being her partner for five years." Eric said with a shake of his head

"It wasn't easy not telling Nivea that I knew all about her and Kendra before I met them. I did what M asked me to do. I made sure her niece had the best partner the CIA could ask for." He looked at Eric who didn't say anything as he looked over Nicholas's shoulder which made Nicholas turn around only to see Kendra standing there._ Shit._ He wondered if she heard him. Her eyes betrayed nothing.

"She's safe. As soon as you are ready we can leave." she stated stiffly as she turned to leave.


	5. The Truth In Part

**A/N:**_ Thanks for the reviews. I'm going to dig into Kendra's issues with this chapter which will bring Kendra and Bond a step closer to each other Nothing really big, but at least they're closer. It's also really long, but it needed to be._

_**Disclaimer: I still do not own anyone or thing in James bond movies or books**_

**Chapter Five**

****Venice, Italy****

Kendra did some thinking during the plane ride and she realized that she had become that person she swore she would never become. She had built a wall so thick and tall to protect herself that she had lost herself. She knew somewhere behind all the coldness that part of herself she buried was still there. She had buried her because she allowed her emotions to show too much and almost got herself killed. She let the wrong person inside and for that she was rewarded with her own gun pressed against her head while he told her how he was going to kill her best friend. After that day she was never the same. Nivea knew the full detailed truth of what happened, but no one else did. She hadn't let anyone else get that close to her since.

She lost a part of herself that day that she could never get back. That day also forced this persona that the agency wanted. She was molded into the perfect agent with no arguments. She was young when she came into this career and so naive about what it really meant to be an agent. She wore her feelings on her sleeve and always allowed the other person the benefit of the doubt. She was the one who lurked in the shadows at the graves of those unfortunate enough to get in the way of her job. She was so sure she could still be herself and do her job. That was until Hector Henis stepped into her life.

"We need to talk." James's voice broke through Kendra's bringing her back to the present.

"You suddenly don't trust Eric and Nicholas?" Kendra questioned as she felt the nagging feeling of antitrust toward Eric creep up her spine like when they first met. Nicholas she didn't trust either, but the fact that her best friend whom she trusted completely did made a huge difference.

"They aren't an issue now." he told her as he held her elbow and lead her toward a secluded part of the airport where he still could see Eric and Nicholas.

"What's going on Mr. Bond?" she demanded sensing something was up.

"Felix wants you and I to meet up with him." he started

"You've spoken to Felix?" she asked as she lifted a brow at him

"Yes, but only because I was assigned to keep you safe and well, he knows how to handle you." James said carefully

"You were afraid you couldn't handle me so you needed pointers from Felix," she smiled as amusement danced in her eyes" That's funny. Go on with what you were saying." she didn't have time to have a chat right now.

"Like I said he wants to meet with us. He's going to place a call to Eric where he's going to say there's a lead on the missing list. Eric will go after it leaving Nicholas to give us back up should we need it." James told her as their eyes met he saw the suspicion in the way they narrowed at him.

Before Kendra could say anything Eric walked over to them with Nicholas.

"I just got a call from Felix about a lead. He said I can handle it on my own while you guys go get Nivea." he paused as he looked at Kendra" Do not do anything stupid you're my partner and I really don't want to train another one." he walked away leaving the other three standing there at the water taxi area.

"Someone want to tell me what's going on?" Nicholas questioned as a breeze off the water blew a stray lock of Kendra hair across her cheek. He noticed how James reached out and tucked it behind her ear. He waited for Kendra to give him and ear full about touching her or something, but she said nothing. His curiosity was peeked now.

"Funny I asked that question and I'm not sure I understand even now." Kendra's voice held suspicion in it as thick as any toxic cloud and both men heard it.

"You will trust me." James said as he began to lead them away from where they were.

"Not likely." Kendra said as she followed her two companions through the throng of people.

After a few blocks they reached a building that Kendra had seen before. It was the first night she had and Nivea had moved into their apartment. They were just walking around because for once they were just them. It was like they were seeing the world for the first time and it was the most amazing thing Kendra had ever felt. As James knocked on the door Nicholas was looking around without making it obvious that he was. Something started to click inside Kendra's head. As the door opened and they were walking in she began she get an understanding of things. Her eyes met Felix's and they instantly narrowed.

"Well, is that any look to give to me after I just risked my life to save yours?" Felix knew Kendra well enough to that look on her face as she stood in front of the desk he sat behind while James sat down across from him with Nicholas next to him.

"Now Felix you worked hard to earn my trust, so why don't you start filling in some of the blanks." she was leaning over the desk now her hands planted firmly on the surface as her eyes met his."Don't insult my intelligence by spitting out the crap you told him."

"The CIA no longer trusts you." Felix told her honestly as she creased her brows at him.

"What? Why?" she met his eyes with a steel look he only saw her give those that she was interrogating.

"We've been through a lot together since the beginning of your career." he started" The list that the CIA supposedly wants recovered or else everyone on it will die," he paused as she stopped leaning on his desk and took a step back." It's not a list they want to recover. The names on that list or who they want dead." Kendra remained silent, but held his eyes knowing he wouldn't lie to her he also knew he had to chose his next words carefully." It's about Hector Henis." he saw her visibly flinch as if she had been hit.

"What the hell does he have to do with him?" though her voice remain void of any emotion she felt the inner struggle to keep calm. "Wait a second there never was a list..." it started to click in her over worked brain now" Not one like I was told. There was never an option for my rescue...Nivea's on it."

"Because they knew she'd contact you." James said to her as he saw the way her mind was taking in every word. He almost felt sorry for her.

"Eric's name was on it and Nicholas's." she said as she tried to wrap her brain around the truth that was hitting her right in her face.

"My name was never on it neither was Eric's." Nicholas informed her." I don't work for the CIA I do work for MI6."

"Okay Felix old buddy of mine start talking and then Nicholas you're going to tell me the truth finally." She felt like the air was being sucked right out of her lungs, but she remained calm.

"According to the paperwork Hector got killed because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nivea accidentally shot him." Felix repeated what the papers said as he saw Kendra's hand fly to her chest like she about to have a heart attack.

"Sit down." James offered as it became clear to him there was something more to this story that no one knew.

"Hector Henis was a conniving bastard and..." she paused as her eyes met James's and she took a deep breath" Nivea didn't pull the trigger I did and I'd do it again no regrets if it meant that son of a bitch was still dead." he saw the pain, betrayal and angst in the depths of her eyes. He knew those feelings because he felt them after Vesper. She really loved this guy and he hurt her in a way that he knew all too well. Love and being betrayed by that love was the worse kind of slap from the reality of this life.

"Why?" Felix asked as her eyes met his and for the first time in years he saw her real emotions. There was pain,hurt,betrayal, and intense anger. He had always known there was more to the story than the paper work said, but he never pushed it until now. He needed to know the truth to save her life.

"After that day I swore I'd never talk about it." she felt her walls start to break as unwanted tears stung the backs of her eyes. It was like that day all over again and all the emotions she buried that day were threatening to break the surface. " I was fresh out of training..." she took a deep breath as she kept the tears at bay."...I thought I could save the world and still be me...god I had never been more wrong about anything else." she stopped as memories came flooding back." Let me skip to the part you want to know about. The day Hector Henis died was the day a part of me died as well." she cleared her throat as she prepared herself to reveal part of her story to three guys two of which she was still on the fence about trusting. One of them _ Bond_ she had known for barely forty-eight hours. So far since meeting him she had been shot at, taken back to London, came face to face with an aunt she hadn't seen since she was a child, but above all that her aunt had entrusted her life to him of all her agents even Nicholas that said something about his trust ability. "He blindsided me with lies of a love he never shared. I came back from a mission and he had left a message for me to meet him at his office. Nivea never trusted him and she voiced it to me all the time. I was too blinded by 'the love' I never stopped to consider the truth in her words." she felt an unchecked tear slid down her cheek leaving a wet hot, trail that she loathed." I showed up before she did. He showed me a file he had on me. He knew what I did for a living. He knew about my parents and my life back in London. He knew about my relationship with Nivea. Everything. He also had a file in which he was going to send to Central Intelligence that had a paper trail of my interaction with terrorist. It showed financial transaction from my bank account to theirs. He had it set up flawlessly to where I would be at the center of the investigation when the attempt was made on the Vic president's life." she left out how betrayed she had felt not by Hector, but by her own emotions." There was a brief struggle in which he was able to get a hold of my gun." she couldn't keep the tears from falling no matter how she hated them." He held it to my head and told me in detail how it would look like I killed myself because I could no longer live with the guilt of what I had done to my country." she wiped the tears from her cheeks" He told me he'd go after Nivea next something in me finally snapped into place and I managed to get my gun back and I shot him just as Nivea came in with her gun drawn."she couldn't tell them how she broke down and Nivea had to save her from herself. He knew what he needed to know and she needed to get herself together.

Nicholas had heard pieces of the tail from Nivea, but he never knew the raw emotions behind each word until he heard Kendra tell the story that Felix needed to know though he knew there was more to it. When Kendra was ready to tell the beginning of the story he knew it would be the hardest thing she would have to do. He looked over at James a man he knew as oo7 and a person. He also knew that if anyone could understand the betrayal Kendra was feeling James was that person.

James had heard every word and he understood why she never said anything. He wouldn't be foolish enough to say he knew her exact feelings because he wasn't there. He didn't know how deeply she fell for Hector's lies, but he could say he understood. He wonder if M knew how badly she'd been hurt or how impossible it was going to be for him to keep a distance between them now.


	6. A Deadly Chase

**A/N:**_Hey, all thanks for the review. I was going to do two chapters, but I decided to just the one. Enjoy._

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything or one in the Bond movies/books.**_

**Chapter Six**

Kendra decided to remain silent as James and Felix talked about the current problem. Truth be told she didn't trust her self to talk right now. Her emotions were still on the surface and the last thing she wanted was to fall apart right now. The CIA wanted her dead because they didn't trust her, but did they suddenly not trust her? Was it really just because Hector was killed? No, there was something more to this. She felt it in her gut. She stood up and walked outside needing fresh air to breath in.

"She can't be out there if she's spotted she's dead." Felix told James and Nicholas.

"She just let us see a side of her that I'm sure she doesn't let happen the least we can do is allow her some space to breathe." Nicholas said as James stood up.

"Felix is right I'll go make sure she's okay." James said as began to dread taking this job. He was not a babysitter, but M had asked him how could he tell her no.

When he walked outside he didn't see Kendra anywhere. He considered where she could have gone in a short amount of time. He then spotted her few streets down. She was standing at the edge of the street staring down into the water. It was now that he really took her in. She wore a white thin strap dress with a red belt around the waist. He walked up to her as she struggled with a piece of hair that kept flying in her face. He reached out and snagged the piece of hair pushing it behind her ear.

"I'm not going to run off on my own." Kendra said feeling to exposed to be alone with James now.

"I never thought you were." James said as he glanced at her profile then back to water.

"There's something more that I'm not seeing." she conveyed her thoughts openly as she tried to hide how open she was now." Why now after all this time would the CIA suddenly not trust me?"

"Leave that to Nicholas and me." James said to her

"It's not in me to just sit back and not a thing." she told him as she finally looked in his direction.

"I knew you'd say that." he let out a soft laugh. He'd say the same thing, but then again she was not him. She was important to M and if that meant knocking her out until this was over then he'd do it.

"Look I know what you were asked to do and if you walked away right now I wouldn't hold it against you neither will anyone else." she said careful of how much she was saying in the open.

"You have a lot to learn about me." He told her as their eyes met" I don't run when the going gets rough." he saw the fear in her eyes and knew she was trying to fight herself on this one.

"The going is going to be more than rough," she fought the urge to bury her face in the warmth of his arms. To allow that closeness even for a second would be a risk she could take." It's about to get down right deadly and I can not assure your safety. Go back home I'll be there when I clean this up." she was trying to save his life. If he didn't leave now she wasn't sure if he'd get another chance not to mention her defenses were starting to wear down where he was concerned.

"I'm not seeking assurance for myself." he said to her knowing she was doing what she thought was best." Besides I think we both know I wouldn't make it passed the first hello." he knew that M would most likely kill him if he left Kendra now.

"Yeah right." Kendra said with a sigh.

"We do need to get you out of Venice." He informed her as they started to walk back

"I can not leave without knowing that Nivea is okay." she told him as she felt his hand on the lower part of her back.

"You can not stay here." he told her seriously

"I don't think you heard me at all _Mr Bond_." she started, but he interrupted her

"Oh, I did it's you who did not hear me. You're getting out of Venice now." His tone left no room for arguments, but Kendra was not about to let some man that she barely knew order her around.

"No, I'm not." she stated stubbornly as shots rang out just before they crossed the street to where Nicholas and Felix where at.

James pulled her into a nearby alley shielding her from the stray bullets while he tried to get a good look at where the people that where shooting at them were at. He saw Felix behind a building across the way. Nicholas was going after one of the guys who jumped in a near by boat. James looked at Kendra who still had an angry look on her face. He rather her be angry than dead. He needed to help them out, but at the same time he couldn't leave her without a way to protect her self. He looked around for anything she could use, but saw nothing. Just when he was going to say the hell with it and leave Nicholas as well as Felix to defend themselves he felt Kendra move.

"Go, I can take care of myself." she told him as he saw a tiny gun in her hands.

"Do I want to know where you had that?" he raised an eye brow as she gave him a deadly glare.

"You help Felix I'm going after Nicholas." she told him

"Don't get yourself killed." he told her as they went their own ways.

Kendra found another boat and told the driver to follow the boat that just left. If she could get close enough to Nicholas he could get in her boat and they could catch the guy a lot quicker together. She could see Nicholas up ahead, but he got out of the boat. As she leaned over to tell the guy to stop she heard a loud noise then felt an intense burning sensation go through her right shoulder and then she felt the cold wet water embrace her like a blanket of death.


	7. Roof Top Jumps, Gun shots and Accusation

**A/N:**_I know this took a long time, but I had some personal issues to deal with. I hope this was worth the wait. Enjoy._

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing or no one in James Bond Movies/books**_

**Chapter Seven**

Nivea had been watching the two men below who had been watching her. They stood near the water's edge they'd been there a while pretending not to be watching her. She knew they were. She stepped closer to the rail of the balcony. They kept their backs to her. She had to make her escape now before Kendra came looking for her and ended up getting killed. The moment Gorge said that Kendra was expendable she knew something was off. As she kept her eyes on the men below a plan began to form.

She looked up and saw her way to escape. Taking a deep breath she stretched her arms high above her head as she carefully pulled herself up onto the railing. She glanced back down at the men they had not moved. Her hands were resting on the edge of the roof and she struggled to pull her self up onto it. She nearly lost her footing, but quickly regained it as she made her way toward the other side. She felt her knee burn probably from a scrape. She looked over at the roof next door and tried to judge the distance if she jumped. She couldn't afford to make a mistake.

She made her jump landing on her knees on the other roof. She did the same with the next roof only this one she decided to drop down to the balcony and make her way out the front door. As she walked into the room the balcony lead to she instantly wished she hadn't. There in the bed lay a naked couple sound asleep. Her face burning she quickly walked out. Kendra would have a good laugh about this. Nicholas would just make it a dirty. She grabbed a big rimmed white hat as she headed out the front door.

She got lost in the crowd. She needed to find Felix he could help her get to Kendra before anything bad happened to her. She wasn't that far from his hid out. The rapid sound of gun fire almost made her heart stop beating. She knew without even seeing who it was that some how Nicholas and Kendra were involved in it. Then she saw what looked like James and Felix shooting at men she did not know. They weren't CIA that much she was sure of. Then she saw Eric aiming his gun toward the water.

As she was about to head toward him she followed his gaze and saw Kendra. He was aiming at Kendra, but why? Before she could even move she heard saw Kendra fall into the water. Eric quickly began to fade into the crowd. If she went after him Kendra would die. If she went after Kendra she'd lose Eric. The spy in her said to go after Eric Kendra would be fine. The person in her demanded she save Kendra they would have another chance at Eric.

Her mind made up she dove into the cold water. She swam to where she saw Kendra fall. She dove under, but couldn't see anything. When her head broke the surface she took a deep breath and went back under. There she was just floating down. Nivea wrapped her arm underneath Kendra's breast as she swam back to the surface. Their heads broke the surface and Nivea struggled to get them to the edge. She felt two strong hands pulling them out of the water.

"Nivea what are you doing here?" Nicholas asked as his heart raced the moment he saw Nivea swimming in the water." Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but I wasn't the one shot." she said to him as he lifted Kendra up into his arms." I was trying to find you both."

"Damn it M's going to kill all of us." he swore as he saw the blood that stained Kendra once whit dress." Follow me I've got a safe place for us."

"It was Eric." Nivea told him as she followed him down a few alleys.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he pushed opened a door where he was met by James

"Yes I saw him." she said as Nicholas laid Kendra down on the only couch in the place.

"Who did this?" James asked as he saw Kendra. _ M's going to kill me. _

"It was Eric Jennings." Nicholas' voice held a deadly edge to it as his eyes met the death glare of James.

"I thought he was taking care of." James said as he ripped Kendra's dress down the front. He tried not to think about how transparent her white lacy underwear and bra was. He made a promise and even if it drove him insane he'd keep it.

" Waite a second you both knew that Eric was a threat to Kendra and you did nothing to warn her?" Nivea was furious with the both of them. They knowingly put Kendra in danger.

"We thought he was taken care of, but obviously he wasn't." James said as he began to rip Kendra's dress into pieces to use as bandages." It went all the way through and didn't hit any main arteries." he tried to get the bleeding to stop.

"Why didn't you just handle him yourself?" Nivea throw at James as she fought the urge to break down and cry.

"I had a duty to Kendra." James said getting angry that he couldn't stop the bleeding and he had Nivea demanding things from him that he couldn't say.

"Yes, I know about your _duty to Kendra." _ She nearly spat at him as Nicholas grabbed her arm" Look how well that turned out!"

"Niv you don't know all the facts." Nicholas said. He knew she was hurting to see her best friend laying there knowing there was nothing she could do now.

"Then why don't you tell them to me." she demanded

"I can't." Nicholas' gaze went to James.

"You mean you won't." she spat bitterly at him" You both better pray to whatever god you believe in that she lives because....." she couldn't finish the last part." There will not be a place for either of you to hide."

"Go on tell her." James said to Nicholas as he stood up to face the couple." It's time she knew the truth and when Kendra wakes up I'll tell her." he knew this was going to be hard for Nicholas so he lifted Kendra carefully up and brought her into the only bedroom there was. He would have to contact M and let her know, but he would put it off as long as he could.


	8. Surprises

**A/N:**_ I know it's been a while since I last updated, but RL got in the way. I do hope you all enjoy this chapter._

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any one or thing in the Bond movies/books.**_

**Chapter Eight**

James was sitting in a chair next to the only window in the room which was small. Last night Nicholas had told Nivea everything. He didn't hear any gun shots, nothing breaking, nor any shouting so he assumed they were okay. Nivea no doubt is angry with Nicholas for keeping things from her, but she would be tame compared to Kendra's reaction. He sighed heavily as he looked at the unconscious woman in question. How could a woman he had only known for a short time get under his skin the way she did? He turned his attention back to the view outside. He envied those people the ones that held onto those they loved he'd give anything just to be able to keep the people he loved safe, but with his choice in jobs love was not an option for him he learned that the hard way.

"I'd say a penny for your thoughts, but I know they are classified." Kendra's soft voice broke through James' thoughts as he turned to face her.

"Besides they are worth more than a penny." he smiled as their eyes met and he felt that pull that he was trying to deny. He chalked it u to be relived that she was alive.

"Well, you're still alive so I take it you didn't call aunt Bar...M yet." she had to be careful with what she said even if it was James she was talking to.

"No, I didn't I wanted to make sure there was good news to tell her." he almost laughed at that.

"Yeah if you call getting shot good news." she would've laughed if she wasn't in so much pain she would have laughed.

"Well, at least you are still alive." he said to her as he moved to sit beside her on the bed.

"Just remind not to ever get shot again." she said to him as she reached out to rest her hand on his

"Is this your first time getting shot?" he asked since he didn't remember seeing any scares from old wounds.

"Well, my second time. I try to avoid getting shot." she said as her shoulder throbbed with pain.

"I had to remove your dress to attend to your wound and I didn't notice any old scares that's why I asked." he said as he saw her smile

"Well, Mr. Bond you have me at a disadvantage." she said to him in low sexy voice.

"How so?" he asked giving her a curious look

"You've seen me naked, but I have yet to see you naked." she smiled at him as he cleared his throat and returned her smile

"Well, the day is not over." James said as she chuckled then winced in pain

"Okay, in all seriousness you need to tell me what happened." she told him as he dropped her gaze and studied their hands

"I was hoping I could wait to tell you this, but Nivea knows and you need to know." James said trying to think of the right way to tell her what he needed to say.

"Uh oh if it's got you searching for words it must be big." she said as she rubbed his hand something Nivea use to do to her when she had something she wasn't sure of how to say.

"Eric Jennings shot you." he started as he heard the sharp intake of her air from her. He looked up to see her narrowed glare

"How do you know this?" she asked not sure if she believed that Eric could do something like this.

"Nivea saw him take aim at you." he confirmed as he saw the hurt. The betrayal. The anger. In her eyes.

"I don't understand."she shook her head." He's been my partner for five years." she was truly at a loss for words." How could he purposely hurt me?"

"There's more and you're going to be angry as hell, but you have to understand it had to be done." He didn't wait for her response he kept going" Nicholas has been working for MI6 for a very long time. He knew who you were from day one. He was asked to bring you to the CIA in an attempt to bring out their mole." it was at this point that Kendra interrupted him

"Eric was that mole." it was a question she knew.

"Yes he was. " he wasn't sure how she'd take the rest of the news.

"So, Aunt Barbara asked Nicholas to bring me to the CIA and to deliberately put me in harm's way." it didn't fit well she thought as she said the words out loud.

"No, not her." he said to her

"I know it wasn't my mom." she said to him as he shook his head.

"It was your father." he said as her eyes met his in a shocked expression.

"That's impossible." she said to him as she felt her chest grow tight" He died when I was ten." then she remembered something Hector had said to her and she closed her eyes.

"No, he wanted your mom to think he was so you two could get to safety." he said to her

"When Hector had the gun pointed at my head he said that he was going to take from my father what he took from him." she told him as her eyes opened back up glistening with unshed tears." Was Hector part of his plan to or was that just extra." she tossed at him as she felt bile rise up in her throat. At the thought of her father being responsible for that vile man being in her life.

"No, he never would have done that to you. Eric is partners with Hector we didn't know this until after everything had happened." He told her

"You mean was." she corrected him softly

"No." he shook his head as he saw the look of shock cross her features again then something he hadn't seen flashed in her eyes. Fear." Hector is..."

"Don't say it." she shook her head refusing to hear those words." I shot him in his head and watched the blood pour from that wound. He's dead. He has to be." she felt her self tremble at the thought of that man being alive.

"It wasn't him it was someone who had surgery to look like him." He told her" He won't have a chance to get anywhere near you I promise." she was starring at her hand on top of his

"You know the more time I spend with you the more secrets get revealed." she told him trying to regain control of herself." I don't like secrets. I sure as hell do not like being used by anyone."

"No more secrets." he told her as he put his hands up in the air.

"You let me deal with Hector." she was angry, but she wasn't stupid. She had to heal first." This time when I kill him he will die."


	9. Dreaded Phone Calls and Bubble Baths

**A/N:**_ I know it's been forever, but RL got really hectic. Enjoy this chapter more will be coming soon!_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no on in Bond movies/books.**_

**Chapter Nine**

Bond took a deep breath as he sat there in the chair he'd been in since Kendra had been shot. He knew he had to make this phone call. He sighed as he stared at his phone wishing he could say anything, but what had happened to Kendra. How was he going to tell her? What did one say in this type of thing? For the first time his charm wasn't going to get him out of this one. He had to be honest. Another heavy sigh escaped his lips before Kendra spoke up.

"You're not as tough as you let on." she gave him a smirk as their eyes met

"Neither are you." he countered as he smiled at her. Feeling that familiar pull between them again. He had to constantly tell his self that what he thought he was feeling wasn't there. It was the result of a n intense situation that was all.

"You really care about my aunt." It wasn't a question it was a fact they both knew.

James didn't say anything he just dialed the number on his phone and waited.

_'Bond what's wrong?' M's voice was calm, but she knew that it was never good when he called her this early in the mission._

"Ma'am I need you to run a trace on Eric Jennings." He answered as he looked over at Kendra who was just sitting in bed looking at him. There it was again that pull. That forbidden pull.

_'I thought he was secured.' The hairs on the back of her neck stood on ends as she felt fear coil up in the pit of her stomach._

"So did we?" He replied as Kendra struggled to get out of bed causing him to raise a brow at her.

_'We?' M questioned nearly holding her breath' Start from the beginning.' she nearly held her breath as she waited for his response._

" You are not going to like what I have to say." he told her as he helped Kendra to the bathroom door where she turned to him pointed to the other side of the room causing him to just smile.

_'I rarely like what you have to say ninety -five percent of the time, so tell me everything.' she firmly informed him as held the phone tightly to her ear._

"Someone from Ben's past is targeting Kendra just like we thought." He confirmed what M had already knew as he took a deep breath and sat on at the foot of the bed.

He paused before he went into detail about the events as he thought about what Kendra confided in him. To keep it from M would be betraying her and to tell M would betray Kendra. He worked hard to get her to open to up just a little. Why did women have to be so bloody complicated?

_'Does she know the story about Ben?' M's voice broke through the inner struggle of Bond's mind_

"I told her everything." he replied as he looked at the closed bathroom doors." Except about her mother."

_'There's no need to bring her up at this point. We have to figure out exactly what's going on.' M stated as felt a knot in her stomach. Kendra was going to be upset once everything came out. M's head begin to throb._

"Right." James agreed as he took a deep breath and restarted the story only leaving out what Kendra had confided in him.

_'Why do I get the feeling there's more?' M asked when Bond paused_

"Eric shot Kendra in..." that was as far as he got before M interrupted him

_'Where the blood hell were you?' she nearly screamed at him as that coil of fear released the moment she his words shooting fear through her body like a cold iron shackle.' You were to protect her not let her get shot.' fear was a weakness that she could not afford, but Damn it all Kendra was her blood._

James sat there letting M rip into him she was right he should have been there. She should not have been on her own. He knew that and yet he let her go. If it hadn't been for Nicholas this conversation would've been harder. No on could or would ever know the amount of guilt he cared behind his tough guy exterior. His thoughts went to Kendra. He heard her story of love, betrayal and the emerge of the stone cold walls. He understood way more than she really knew.

_'Is she alive?' M's calm tentative voice broke him away from those forbidden feelings that tried to crawl over his wall only to be pushed back into the dark recesses where they belonged._

"Yes she is."was all he needed to say

_' I will get that trace for you and when you find the bastard do not let him walk away.' With that the phone call was ended._

"James can I have some help here please?" Kendra's voice waffled through to him as he put his phone on the bed and went to where she stood in the door way of the bathroom.

"What took you so long I thought you were just brushing your teeth?" he questioned as she smiled at him" What are you up to?"

"Take a look." she felt the pull between them and knew that it was mutual.

James looked over her shoulder and saw that the bathroom had candles surrounding the a tub full of bubbles.

"You've run yourself a bubble bath." he said as he met her eyes which sparkled.

"No I've run you a bubble bath." she corrected him with a soft shake of her head.

"Thanks, but I'm more of a shower type." he said to her his eyes still locked with hers

"I almost died and I know that phone call to my aunt was not an easy one so I'm proposing that we share a bubble bath together just to relax." she suggested" Nothing more than just a bath." his hand went to her cheek and she felt like she was in one of those old french movies that she always made fun of.

"Just a bath." he said the image of her wet and naked flowed through his head

"Just a bath... for now." she said as she indicated her shoulder and he nodded" Besides you owe me a naked view." he chuckled as he let his hand fall.


	10. Kissesand Much Needed Bonding

**A/N: **_I know it has been FOREVER since I last updated, but I moved into a new place with new bills not to mention trying to keep up with two toddlers…lol. I also had writer's block. Now I have the time and energy so I thought I'd update with a few chapters for anyone who is still keeping up with this story. If you are thank you so much. Here ya go!_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or thing in the Bond movies or books.**_

**Chapter Ten**

The moment his lips touched hers Kendra felt pure electricity run through her body. It was like she had touched a live wire. Nothing matter more than this moment right here. Not the pain in her shoulder. Not their jobs. Not the fact that he worked for her aunt. Not the fact that at any second they could all die. All that matter was the intense feeling this kiss was stirring within her. Then just as suddenly as it had began it was over and he was holding her at arms length.

"We can not just take a bath together. It wouldn't be _just a bath_." his eyes met hers and he saw the same desire he felt mirrored in her depths, but he would not pursue this woman no matter what his other head was telling him to do." If we went in there and got into that bath tub I'd be signing my own death warrant." a small smile hinted at her lips as they both knew what he meant." You deserve someone who can give you the time you need. The protection..." there it was the shield of self protection he knew it all too well.

"Let me stop you right there because I know this speech all too well." her eyes met his" I've given it many times." she smiled as she went on." Do not forget _you_ kissed _me_." She poked his chest lightly." I only offered a bath. I offered it not as a coy way of alluding to sex, but to politely say you need a bath." she wrinkled her nose adding to the effect." That and I need help washing my hair." she indicated her shoulder.

"I'll send Nivea in here to help with your hair when you're ready." he said as he felt satisfaction knowing that the kiss affected her just as much as it did him." When you're done with your bath I'll take mine since you find my smell offending." she shrugged at his faked offense.

"I'll be out in about an hour." she said as he stepped out of the bathroom" You can send Nivea in whenever she's ready." she added as she shut the door and leaned back against it.

_What the hell was I thinking? I know better than to get personal with someone I work with._ She silently berated herself. She could not nor would not get involved with James Bond. One he worked for her aunt and she'd kill him. Two he worked in her line of work. Three he was British she was CIA. The two never mixed well.

"Hey you need me to help you out in here?" Nivea asked as she opened the door breaking Kendra's thoughts.

"Yeah I need help getting out of my clothes and washing my hair." she told her as Nivea nodded.

"I'm surprised James didn't offer to help you out of your clothes." Nivea chuckled.

"I offered to share my bath with him, but he gave me _ my _speech." she winced slightly as Nievea gently touched her shoulder.

"Sorry." she said as she finished removing Kendra's clothes and helped her in the tub." He's just trying to save you from the mess he considers his life." she added

"I wasn't offering sex honestly though he did kiss me and I returned the kiss." she said as Nivea wetted her hair and began to massage the shampoo into her scalp." I needed help and besides he needs a bath." both girls laughed." What is it with me and being attracted to the guys who are all wrong for me?"

"It's away of protecting yourself." Nivea answered as she washed the shampoo out of Kendra's hair then began to put in the conditioner." You go after those you know will not want anything to do with you on a permanent level so that you don't have to worry about losing them because of your job." she knew Kendra better than anyone." Nor do you have worry about getting hurt. " Nivea heard the sigh that came from Kendra and her heart felt like it was gonna break for all the pain that she had been through." I know this from personal experience." she thought about Nicholas" Someday you'll find that guy who'll brave your walls just to get to the woman behind them. Because he knows she's worth all the hell he will go through. He won't be scared away nor will he need your protection." her mind was on Nicholas as she spoke." James may or may not be that person. He needs a woman who'll brave his walls as well. Personally though I know you're both great people underneath all the walls you're no good for each other." that was said more about her and Nicholas than Kendra and James.

"Speaking of…" Kendra's felt like a princess as Nivea massaged her scalp." Why didn't you tell me about you and Nicholas being married? I didn't even know you two were dating."

"We didn't really date. He was my partner for five years." she smiled as Kendra turned to face her." Something happened and we realized we needed each other more than we thought." She smiled brightly" I couldn't imagine my life without him in it." then her smile disappeared" I just can't believe he lied to me."

"It comes with the job." Kendra offered" Besides you kept my secret from him."

"Still it bothers me slightly that he lied so easily to me." Nivea's voice took on a soft edge as she spoke" Five years I was his partner. I'm his wife. His best friend. I trusted him with my life." she paused before she nearly whispered" I trusted him with my heart. Now I don't know if I can ever trust him with that again." Kendra understood what Nivea was feeling. Betrayal no matter how small was still the same. She couldn't tell her it would be okay. That they would work through this. She couldn't tell her answers that she herself had been searching for since she was eight teen years old.

"I have no magic or pretty words to make everything better. " Kendra answered after a moments pause." I can't give you answers to a question that I've been asking myself for years. I know you though and you're not as stubborn as I am. Nor are you a masochist like me. You'll find your answers." she leaned her chin on the tubs edge as Nivea sat fully on the floor.

"I miss us." she said as Kendra nodded her head in agreement

"You never lost me." she replied softly

"Yes, I did." her voice was like a whispered balm to Kendra's chapped soul" For a very long time my best friend was no where to be found." she fought the urge to let the burning tears fall. " There was this cold hearted bitch of a harpy in her place." Kendra raised her brows in surprise." It's true."

"You always had me." Kendra creased her forehead slightly confused

"This woman that's before me now is my best friend whom I have not seen in years. Don't let that bastard take her from me again." Nivea hugged Kendra" You are more than my best friend you are my sister and I love you with all of my heart." emotions choked her throat up as she finished her words

"I love you too Niv." Kendra said allowing herself to just relax for once.


	11. Meetings With Dads Reveal Shocking Truth

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or thing in any Bond movies or books.**_

**Chapter Eleven  
**

"You have to get her out of Italy tonight." Nicholas turned from his spot near a bay window over looking a garden.

"Don't you mean them?" Nicholas raised a brow at the older man who was now pouring his self a drink.

"My only concern is my daughter's safety being around that woman she calls a friend will get her killed." the man said curtly

"She considers her a sister." he said as the older man sat down in one of the two over-sized chairs in the large room

"But she is not blood." he said shortly as Nicholas sat on the sofa.

"She's not going to go without Kendra." Nicholas reminded him

"She's your wife you make her go." Nivea's father demanded

"You know better than I that no one makes Nivea do anything she does not want to do." he said

"I can not protect her in this country." he said

"She doesn't need your protection she needs you to let me and Bond handle this." Nicholas said

"Great job you both have done so far. I heard about Kendra getting shot." he narrowed his eyes.

"She's fine." he said as he cocked his head to the side

"I didn't ask." he replied dryly

"I was talking about Nivea." Nicholas stated as he stood up and went back to the window

"When she said she was married to you I told her she was making a mistake." he said casually" My daughter is like her mother." a softness touched his eyes" She leads with her heart." then his voice took on a dangerous edge" Do not make me right."

"I love your daughter and put her life before my own." Nicholas said honestly

"In our line of work love means nothing." he stated

"It does to me." Nicholas corrected as he fought away a memory of long ago.

"Next you'll tell me you've never said 'I love you' to anyone except Nivea." he nearly laughed

"Not everyone is a cold hearted bastard like yourself." Nicholas's voice held a dangerous edge to it." You didn't call me over here to discuss love with me, so tell me why you would risk your daughter's life like this."

"To give you the means to get her away from all this until we find out what is really going on." he told him as he handed him an envelope

"What's this?" Nicholas asked as he eyed the older man cautiously. Years on the job had made it an automatic response.

"Everything you both will need to be safe." he informed him

"The CIA wants Kendra dead and anyone who knew about her involvement with…." Nivea's father cut him off.

"You want to save Kendra you find her father and make him tell you about her partner Eric." he spoke sharply" I only want to save my little girl and you married her."

"I know about Eric's part in this." Nicholas answered as he handed him back the envelope" There's no where for us to go that the CIA will not find."

"Then you know that Eric is Kendra's brother right?" He saw the surprise in Nicholas's eyes." Like I said find Kendra's father and you'll be able to save her life." he walked out leaving a very confused Nicholas starring at his retreating back.

"Damn it!" Nicholas swore as he left the house.

This just kept getting more complicated by the second. He didn't know that Kendra had a brother he doubted that she even knew. If he told her it would make what had to be done more difficult for her. If he didn't and she found out she would lose the fragile trust they were starting to develop. Not to mention it would be yet another lie to Nivea. This was easier before she came into his life. He use to do his job no questions asked certainly no feelings. Now he questioned everything and god help him his feelings made his choices so far.

Nicholas was use to the danger and risk that came with his job. It was a hazard he hated, but accepted. He was use to the lying to get the job done or to save his own ass. He wasn't proud of it, but it had to be done. He was use to the feel of a nine or assault rifle in his hand. He had used them many times the nine being his favorite. He was use to fighting for his life. What he was not use to was thinking of someone else's life before his own until now.

Nivea was his wife and Kendra he had been protecting since she was eight teen years old. They both had become a complication he could not afford. He hated complications, but he loved his wife. Kendra he had started to care for as well. His life use to be simple. Get briefed on a mission do it and return to his apartment alone. Now it was different. Life would never be simple again.

"Nicholas." he turned from the gondola view of passing lovers toward the older man who resided in this apartment.

"Ben" he greeted as Kendra's father poured two shot glasses of a dark amber liquor.

"You look like hell." Ben stated as he took in Nicholas's appearance. He looked like he hadn't sleep in a while.

"It's the hazard of our job." he said shortly"Not to mention your daughter's life is on the line."

"Is there something you want to say Nicholas?" he asked sensing tension in Nicholas's words.

" Tell me about Eric Jennings and is connection to your daughter Kendra." Nicholas saw how the older man stiffened a bit.

"There is no connection." Ben said stiffly as he downed the amber liquid and poured another.

"Ben now is not the time to lie to me. He's her brother." it wasn't a question it was written in the older man's stressed features.

"Her mother had an affair. Eric is her bastard from that affair." Ben said dryly

"Why keep it from your daughter?" Nicholas questioned as things started to click into place. They started to make sense now. Eric was obviously pissed at Kendra for having the love he never had.

"Her mother gave him up. He was never supposed to be in our lives again." Ben added

"Yet he was your daughter's partner for years." Nicholas said to him

"I didn't know who he was until the ' list' came out." Ben answered"Kendra has heard more lies, and been betrayed more times than she ever deserved, she will,has adjusted." he said as the guilt for his part in hurting his daughter began to creep up his spine.

"She was shot by Eric did you know that?" Nicholas questioned almost bitterly

"That was Bond's fault." Ben narrowed his eyes in anger. Bond never should have been brought into Kendra's life. Every woman who ever had the poor misfortune to cross paths with Bond always ened up dead. Vesper came to mind quickly at this thought. He would never admit it out loud, but he loved Vesper too. More so than Bond, he thought.

"No, he did not pull the trigger that would have been Eric." Nicholas took a deep breath"You should have taken care of him when you had the chance."

"I was detained by the CIA because of the fact that they think my daughter is a terrorist." Ben turned from Nicholas to stare out the window." I had to find all the proof they said they had and make sure it never sees the light of day again."

"How did you do that?" Nicholas's voice was laced with caution as his alert senses came on.

"I simply called in a favor." he said as the view of two lovers walking across the street brought memories of Vesper.

"From who?" Nicholas starred at the back of his head.

"My wife." he said nonchalantly.


	12. A Group Effort

**A/N: **_I got on a roll and kept going this is it for tonight though. Enjoy!_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or thing in Bond movies nor books.**_

**Chapter Twelve**

Kendra stared at the now sleeping form of James Bond and wondered who had the pleasure of owning his heart. Whom ever she was did a real number on him. He had politely refused her offer of a bath. Much to her disappointment. Now as she sat in the chair that James had occupied earlier she considered what it would mean to get involved with James Bond. He worked for MI6 while she worked for the CIA not a good combination there. He was a 00 agent where as she wasn't. Then the big issue was that he worked for her aunt and she would murder him if he so much as looked like he wanted her.

Even in his sleep he looked stressed. Nightmares. She understood those more than she would say. She turned her head to look out the window. Venice was a beautiful place even amidst all the danger and blood shed. Her mom and dad had met here. She watched as people passed by. At least she didn't have to worry about her parents.

Night was falling and a sudden dread filled her. The CIA wanted her dead because of one foolish naive mistake she made. She trusted a man who said he loved her. Now that she knew he was still alive she pissed. Could god be that cruel as to let the man that had taken the life of her innocence ruin her life. She sighed as she turned back toward the sleeping man in bed. _ Stop thinking about him._ She told herself sternly.

"Stop starring at me." James said without opening his eyes. He felt her starring at him like she was holding a branding iron to him.

"I thought you were sleeping." she said as she moved over to the bed where he was.

"So, you only stare at me when you think I'm sleeping?" he raised a brow at her as he reached up to move a lock of hair out of her face.

"No, I don't I was just thinking that's all." she said her cheeks burning a little.

"You're losing your edge." he said noticing that he no longer saw the hard agent from before he was now starting to see who she really was.

"It's Nivea she brings me back every time." Kendra stated still feeling the urge to fight herself.

"She's good for you." he said as he gently caressed her cheek.

"Yeah she is." she agreed fighting the urge to close her eyes and turn her face into his touch.

"You should get some sleep." he said not bothering to move or drop his hand

"So should you." she said as she felt his hand slid behind her neck. She knew he was going to kiss her again and god help her she wanted him to. It was wrong, but she needed to feel something aside from the pain in her shoulder and all the other bad emotions.

"Hey you guys need to come out here now I got information for you." Nicholas said through the door breaking the moment.

Kendra immediately got to her feet as James got up and pulled on his shirt.

"Hopefully it's good." Kendra said her heart pounding ferociously in her chest as James met her eyes.

"It better be." he nearly growled as he walked out with her trailing behind him.

"Nicholas what's going on? Where have you been?" Nivea questioned as she came out of their room wearing a white tank top and a pair of pants with black cats all over them.

"Talking with your dads." he said as Kendra sat on the sofa and Nivea sat next to her while James sat in a chair.

"Go on you've got my attention." Kendra stated as she met his eyes. It was weird because she had thought her dad was dead for so long now she found it hard to believe he was alive.

"First off whatever the CIA has on you is gone." he said as he now had James's attention more as well.

"Explain in full detail." James said

"First I went to see Nivea's dad because he had contacted me. He offered to help get Nivea out of the country and me by default." Nivea rolled her eyes" I told him you wouldn't go without Kendra. He told me to ask your dad about Eric Jennings when I told him I already knew about Eric's involvement in this mess he revealed something rather shocking." He pause searching for words." Eric's your brother and you no longer have to worry about the CIA." Nivea's shocked expression spoke more than her words.

"There's more." Kendra stated softly trying to wrap her brain around this information.

"Your mom gave your dad what he needed to clear your name. Eric is the son your mom gave up before you were born." Nicholas concluded not wanting to say more.

"Well, this mess is over and we can go back to London." Kendra said as she tried to mentally comprehend everything.

"Not exactly." James said as Kendra stood up and went to the small window.

"James is right we still have Hector and Eric to deal with." Nicholas said

"No, I have Hector and Eric to deal with you are taking Nivea back home where she is safe and you..." she met Bond's eyes" Need to report back to 'M' everything we've just learned."

"I'm not leaving and don't even try to argue with me." Nivea said to her.

"I can't go back without you." James reminded her.

"Face it Kendra you need us more than you know." Nicholas said to her.

"This is my fight not you guys." she said wanting to protect them from this mess that was her life.

"Well, you're my best friend and both of them went after you that makes it my fight too." Nivea stood placing her hands on her hips.

"Not to mention it was their guys that were shooting at us." Nicholas said

" I always did love a good gun fight." James added

Kendra knew she was not going to get rid of them any time soon so she just shrugged and gave in.


	13. Point Of No Reurn

_**A/N: So, I know it's been A LOOOOONG time since I last updated. R.L got overwhelming for a while. I would like to thank everyone that is still sticking with this story and I apologize for the long wait. Hope this chapter was worth it.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything or one in the Bond movies or books.**_

**Chapter Thirteen**

After going back to London Kendra decided to throw herself into work and finding out all she could about how Hector could still after all these years be a threat to her. It's one thing when you have random agents after you, but to have highly skilled trained special agents after you was like fighting your way out of quick sand. Sooner or later they were going to catch up to her and it would all be over not only for her, but anyone else with her. Even though she would not admit it out loud James had become someone she cared about. He had proved he could be trusted more than once and he proved he could not be trusted which was why she did trust him. It would be a long time before she could trust anyone let alone a guy with the most important piece of her... her heart. Her life was already in his hands and she knew he'd protect her. She had a feeling he wasn't to trusting with his heart either.

Her aunt had gotten her a nice flat with top of the art security inside and out. It was very modern chic. She felt like a clumsy kid in an electronic store afraid that if she hit the wrong button she'd blow the place up. Which brought her to her first night here and cooking. Another reason why she trusted James with her life. She caught the stove on fire and he easily put it out. Granted she had to get a new stove, but considering it could've been a lot worse that was nothing. Now here she was with her shoulder nearly fully healed and eating a TV dinner.

She had just taken a very long bath and her hair was still damp, but she felt more relaxed. London was more her place now than Venice. Here she spoke the language fluently and knew her surroundings a lot better. Granted she hadn't been here in years, but it was still a lot better. She cleaned up after and was settling in to watch _Gone With The Wind_ one of her all time favorite movies when she heard a light knock. She went to the door and looked out the peek hole. She gasped when she saw who it was and jerked away from the door like it was hot. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the wall and silently wished he hadn't picked this time to come up.

"Kendra it's James open up." his voice startled her out of her daze and she silently cursed herself for being silly. The man saw her with blood all over her for crying out loud she highly doubted seeing her in her pj's would make him think any less of her. She opened the door as their eyes met she was amazed that she could still nearly lose herself in their depths.

"Sorry I was hoping to spend some alone time with my favorite person." she smiled softly as he walked inside.

"Well, I had only came over to give you an update on Eric, but I'm pleased you want to spend alone time with me." James teased her as she took his coat and gloves.

"Ha, ha funny." she said sitting them aside as they walked over to the couch and sat down." So, is the son of a bitch dead?" James looked up into her eyes for a moment then dropped his gaze to her lips. Even with no make up on and in her pj's he still wanted her very badly. He wanted to say to hell with 'M's warning and just go with what he so badly wanted to do.

"Uh, no he isn't, but he's here in London." he said his eyes moving back up to her eyes. He saw the trained agent in her come to surface as she showed no expression outwardly.

"Do, we know where or just that he's been spotted here?" she had to keep her emotions in check no matter what.

"Just that he's here, but we'll find out where before morning." he assured her soundly.

"Just as long as you don't kill him I don't care about anything else." she said coldly" He was my partner since day one and he betrayed me worse than anyone ever could." bitterness laced her words and James understood why it was there. Betrayal no matter how little tasted bitter just the same.

"Believe me I understand how you feel." he said as he felt this pull toward her. Just when he would've stood up and left her to her solitude he saw the spark of desire in her eyes. He gave into temptation as his lips met hers.

He gave her plenty of time and room to back away. She stayed. He took this as a sign to deepen the kiss. When her lips opened to him he wrapped her in his arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed herself tighter to him. He pressed her down into the couch as his hand moved over her body to the edge of her shirt. She pulled at the edges of his shirt until it came out of his pants and then she worked on the buttons, but when her fingers seemed to forget how to unbutton a shirt she nearly ripped it off him in frustration. They broke the kiss only briefly to rid themselves of their shirts.

One by one their clothing ended up on the floor in a pile. James paused slightly as his eyes met hers silently asking the question he was thinking. She just nodded her head as their lips met once again. There wasn't a place that his hands and lips didn't not touch as he explored every exposed piece of skin. When he finally allowed his self entrance inside her it startled him at how much it felt like coming home. He had been avoiding this for so long because of this feeling and yet he knew he couldn't deny his self this ever again. They both deserved this moment after everything they had been through both a part and together. Tomorrow would hold off for a few more hours for now he allowed his self to feel all those forbidden feelings he'd deal with consequences later.


End file.
